An unexpected pregnancy can be one of the many reasons why life gets complicated. This may not be the right time for you to start a family. Or, maybe it’s the wrong guy, or you are struggling to make ends meet financially. Regardless of where you are right now, you still have a decision to make. Whatever you choose won’t be easy, but that is why we are here to help you through this process.
If this pregnancy was not planned and you truly do not feel like you are ready for parenthood, you may be torn between having an abortion and making an adoption plan for your child. Take the time you need to explore your options in a place that does not profit from your decision. Make an appointment today for a free consultation.
You are not alone
Each year, in the United States, over 115,000 children are adopted, and over 5 million people have been adopted. Adoption can be a gift, but it is not without its challenges. In fact, one adoptive mom said, “Adoption is happy. Adoption is beautiful. But it’s not only happy and beautiful. Revealing and remembering and embracing the full sad-happy picture of adoption isn’t betraying adoption; it’s simply calling adoption what it is. I grieve adoption, and I celebrate adoption. And I do it all at once.”
“Revealing and remembering and embracing the full sad-happy picture of adoption isn’t betraying adoption; it’s simply calling adoption what it is.” -An Adoptive Mother
Adoption is not for everyone, which is why we encourage all our patients to research all their options and make a pros and cons list. To help you, we’ve compiled a short pro/con list to help you begin to think about what adoption could mean for you.
Pros:
✓ You can choose to use an agency or have a private adoption through an attorney.
✓ You choose the home and parents for your child. If you desire a two-parent married couple to raise your child, you can make that choice.
✓ You are in control of the entire process. For example, you can decide if you want the potential adoptive parents present at your doctor visits, and you have complete control over the hospital time. You decide if you want time alone with the baby, if you want the potential adoptive parents present at any time, and what you want in your birth plan.
✓ You choose how much contact you wish to have with your child and their adoptive family through open, closed, or semi-open adoption. You create an agreement with the adoptive family that includes how often you want to see your child. In an open adoption, for example, you could coordinate monthly in-person visits at the park or want to see your child on holidays. If it would be too difficult for you to see your child and their adoptive family, you can have a closed adoption with no contact. A semi-open adoption can be receiving letters and pictures from the adoptive family as your child grows.
✓ You can continue achieving your personal goals, pursue your education, or make career advancements that could be challenging while raising an infant. (Please note that we are in no way expressing you can’t do these things as a mom of multiple children, teen mom, or single parent. Moms achieve all these things and more, and The LightHouse Women’s Center provides free resources during and after your pregnancy.)
✓ You will have financial support available to you throughout your pregnancy and beyond.
✓ You will be making one of the most selfless choices you can ever make in life.
Cons:
✓ You may struggle with complicated emotions, including joy, grief, regret, and relief.
✓ You may wrestle with letting go of how you want to raise your child. You will always be their mother (or father), just not in the traditional way.
✓ You will experience childbirth without having a baby to take home with you.
✓ You may experience temporary or even lasting regret. Counseling is imperative to help you sort through your emotions and ensure you’re 100% confident in your adoption decision.
✓ Your legal parental rights cannot be restored.
If you are considering adoption, research and choose your child’s future parents carefully and express your desires for the life you envision for your child.
When you come to The LightHouse Women’s Center, we honor your choice and will help support you the best we can. This is your life and your decision.